Four Times the Fun

By Lorna Oppedisano | Photography by Alice G. Patterson

While some mothers might see it as four times the challenge, partners Amanda Benoit and Amanda Phister — the “Quad Moms” — see it as four times the blessing.

“I would say four is better than none,” Phister said. “If we didn’t have these four, we’d still be trying for one. I always tell people: we have such a different view on it, because for us, we would rather be dealing with four sets of diapers, and four this, and four that, than none of it at all, you know? Or one more month of ‘No, you’re not pregnant.’”

Benoit, 31, had been trying to get pregnant since July 2014. The couple approached the process of IUIs and IFVs (intrauterine insemination and in vitro fertilization, respectively) with little insider knowledge. They met with fertility doctors, learned the basics and started trying for a child.

The plan was for Benoit to have their first child, and then Phister to have their second. So the couple bought eight samples from the same donor, four apiece. Benoit would try three IUIs, and if that didn’t work, move on to an IVF. Having that last option to fall back on gave them more hope after the first three tries didn’t work, Benoit explained.

They decided to use two eggs for the IVF, but after the process, Benoit still wasn’t pregnant. They were devastated.

“Really, with our story, what it comes down to is we just didn’t get all the information,” Benoit said.

The couple did more research on their own, bought higher quality and quantity sperm — something they hadn’t known about when they started — and tried again.

Benoit went through the process of three IUIs again — still nothing. Each of the now seven procedures came with a slew of fertility treatments and hormones, physical stress and emotional pain. If this last IVF didn’t work, she was done trying.

She put in three eggs, with a warning from the doctor that there was a 10 to 15 percent chance all three eggs would take. “OK, I can ride that 85 [to] 90 percent,” she thought. “I can do that.”

He also told them there was a small chance one of the eggs would split. Knowing multiples didn’t run in her family, she wasn’t worried about it. What she didn’t know was the fact that fertility treatments increase the chances of eggs splitting.

On Dec. 7, 2015 — 18 months and eight procedures after the couple had started this process — Benoit began her day with a pregnancy test.

“It was positive,” Benoit recalled, smiling from ear to ear. “And I remember I was just crying, crying, crying.”

She woke up Phister, tears still streaming down her face.

“And she just starts consoling me, saying, ‘It’s OK. It’s OK,’” Benoit said.

“I just thought it was one more negative,” Phister explained.

“And finally, in [between] the moments of my sobbing, I was finally able to get out, ‘It’s positive!’” Benoit said.

The next seven months were filled with visits to their local doctor, and then eventually with Dr. Alexandra Spadola, at Upstate University Hospital.

Benoit set herself a goal of making it to 30 weeks, and she did. On week 30, she started to feel “not so good.” Her blood pressure was climbing. They checked her into the hospital, and on June 10, the couple welcomed their four babies — two boys and two identical twin girls — into the world.

The infants spent the next month or so in the NICU — “best babysitters in the world, round the clock!” Benoit said.

For the first few months after they brought them home, Benoit and Phister had at least one family member there to help at all times.

“We would not be where we are without our families,” Benoit said.

As the babies began to grow and develop their own distinct personalities, word of the Quad Moms spread. Syracuse cancer awareness advocate Ann Marie Otis caught wind of their story. She was helping to start a new project called Wisdo, an online wisdom-sharing platform, and thought Benoit and Phister’s tale could help a lot of people.

The women didn’t love the spotlight, but knew Ann Marie was right.

“We have such a story about our experience, and it’s not all good experience,” Benoit said, pointing out the fact that they spent a lot of money and hadn’t planned for four babies. “I wouldn’t change it for the world, but there are people out there who might not want our situation and might want more knowledge going into it. And that’s what I love about Wisdo. People have this wisdom because they had these experiences.” SWM

For more of the Quad Moms’ wisdom, visit wisdo.com/profile/amanda-benoit.